Merry Merry Merry Frickin’ Christmas

School′s out,

Christmas break

Home for the holidays

Eating lovely fruit cake

Off to grandmas, its so boring

Screaming kids and Grampa snoring

My ant Margret has lost her mind

Tripping on a train set

Have another box of wine...

Its gonna be a Merry, merry merry freaking Christmas

I must be a Santa clause in sh*tlist

The tree, the gifts, the mistletoe kiss

Shoot me now I'm sick of all my relative

Have a merry merry merry Frickin' Christmas

Uncle Richards, he′s a weirdo

Passing out pitchers of himself in a Speedo

My cousin Ashley, her singing really sucks

Blames it on her drummer and her acid reflux

My brother's wife is really hot, she pulled me into the bathroom

I hope we don't get caught

Its gonna be a Merry, merry merry frickin' Christmas

I must be a Santa clause in sh*tlist

The trees, the gifts, the mistletoe kiss

Shoot me now, I′m sick of all my relatives

Have a merry merry merry freaking Christmas

We haven′t even opened our presents yet (now it's time to start)

So ill fake a smile because it′s going back to Wal-Mart (wal-Mart)

Sweedy are you ok in there?

(Gasping)

Its gonna be a Merry, merry merry freaking Christmas

I must be a Santa clause in sh*tlist

The trees, the gifts, the mistletoe kiss

Shoot me now, I'm sick of all my relatives have a merry, merry merry freaking Christmas

Merry Merry Merry freaking Christmas