Professor Lindquist A renowned cunning linguist Was especially famous in Sweden Her book list relentless Her intellect endless And popularity all could agree on Her trouble began when She met a young man Whose diminutive made Her think too hard For as much as she tried Her brain was quite fried as She couldn't get Dick out of Richard She got Fanny from Francesca A rude word from Scunthorpe but she couldn't get Dick out of Richard She got anal from Alan Jack off of John but She couldn't get Dick out of Richard Clitheroe tickled her Penistone pleasured her She had a good time in Cockermouth She looked high and low but It was no go as She couldn't get Dick out of Richard A model called Sammy Scored a right double whammy With the length and girth Of her new hubby But after ten years It would all end in tears When he got increasingly chubby Her mind started to wander When she thought of down yonder For ways to open her tin of pilchards She was down in the mouth So she searched north and south as She couldn't get Dick out of Richard She got Fanny from Francesca A rude word from Scunthorpe but She couldn't get Dick out of Richard She got anal from Alan Jack off of John but She couldn't get Dick out of Richard Clitheroe tickled her Penistone pleasured her She had a good time in Cockermouth She looked high and low but It was no go as She couldn't get Dick out of Richard She just couldn't get Dick out of Richard