Santa (Verse 1):

Ho-ho-ho, I’m droppin’ bars from the North Pole throne

My presence heavier than your cross and your stone

You’re the King of Kings? I’m the gift that you missed

I’ll stuff your stockings full of coal while my sleigh gets lift

I’m swingin’ candy canes like mics, you’re about to get iced

You flip water into wine, I’m turnin’ rhymes into dice—

I’m rollin’ triple sixes, spittin’ blizzard flows on ya head

While your followers break bread, I’m stackin’ cookies instead

Your miracles are old news—my reindeer still flyin’

I got a global fanbase, your church attendance is dyin’

Step off the stage, Messiah, you can’t measure my worth—

I’m the legend of the north, you’re just a story from birth.

Jesus (Verse 2):

Oh, word? You think that suit and beard makes you tough?

I’m the Word made flesh, your whole act’s just fluff

You creep into homes at night—who’s the real intruder?

You only show once a year, I’m eternal, much ruder—

Raising the dead, I’m resurrecting these rhymes

Your elves slavin’ in the workshop? I free minds

You think gifts define you? I’m grace on demand

Turn a sinner into a saint with a wave of my hand

You’re a holiday mascot, I’m the original truth

I taught forgiveness, while you profit off youth

I outshine your sleigh lights with a halo so bright

Bow down, jolly old man, I bring the real fight.

Santa (Verse 3):

You talkin’ miracles, son, I got miracles in bulk—

I make kids believe in hope, while you came for the cult

Your crown of thorns can’t compare to my brim of red

I bring joy in the darkness, you bring guilt and dread

Don’t front like you’re timeless, I’m older than your tale

Spittin’ icicle lyrics, turn your water to hail

Your sermon on the mount’s a quaint Sunday lesson

My North Pole operations keep the whole world guessin’

I’m droppin’ down chimneys, you’re stuck at the door

I’m the new holiday hustle, you’re ancient folklore

Keep preachin’ humility, I’m stackin’ that cheer

Your miracles fade, but I’m still rockin’ each year.

Jesus (Verse 4):

You got the market on toys, but I’m all about hope

When I flip this script on you, you won’t know how to cope

Your “naughty or nice” list? I forgive both sides

Your belly shakes with laughter, but my truth never dies

I feed the hungry, you fatten off cookies and milk

You claim to spread joy, but it’s all profit and silk

Your reindeer can’t outrun the power I hold—

I melt your glaciers of greed, leave your empire cold

I’m flipping over tables in your gift-wrapped façade

I’m the king of the kingdom, you’re just a holiday fraud

So take your sack full of trinkets and step off the stage

I’ll bury you in blessings, watch your legend fade.