Oh, I’m dreaming of a merry Christmas

Yeah, (no yer nay aye)—just face it head-on.

Life’s a loop, grimly repetitive,

Same old shite each year—F M L.

Aye.

Pants, socks, and smellies for Christmas,

Pants, socks, and smellies for Christmas.

Pants, socks, and smellies for Christmas—

That’s the joy of gettin’ older.

Fraid so.

That time of year again, it’s pure tradition—

Dust off the cobwebs on my gas boiler.

Got a real tree standing proud in the corner,

But it’s freezing, and the heat’s a no-go still.

Pants, socks, and smellies for Christmas,

Pants, socks, and smellies—\"Oh Geez, thanks!— just what I want!!\"

Pants, socks, and smellies, wrapped up with a bow—

The gift that says, “Yer gettin’ old, you know.”

The neighbor’s got lights that could blind a spaceship,

A reindeer inflates on their lawn.

But my fairy’s wonky, my tinsel’s mangy,

And the glitter’s all gone by dawn.

\"At least I wont smell next year!\"

Pants, socks, and smellies for Christmas,

Pants, socks, and smellies—\"Wow!! I've not even worn last years\"

Pants, socks, and smellies, wrapped up with a bow—

The gift that says, “Yer gettin’ old, you know.”

They don’t care at all, nah, they don’t care at all.

\"I’ll toss it on the fire, watch it burn, then blame the cat.\"

All the hype and wrapping paper mess—

At least I'll be warm this Christmas. (Hahah)

Pants, socks, and smellies for Christmas,

Pants, socks, and smellies for Christmas.

Pants, socks, and smellies for Christmas—

That’s the joy of gettin’ older.

\"Oh you smell nice.... I really like your socks!\"

(faint laughing)